Dear Red Hat,
I know it’s been a while — I’ve just needed some time to process what happened between us.
It’s hard to believe that we’d end up here, after all we’ve been through together. When I needed a service console to manage my hypervisor, you were my first choice — and you were always there for me. Well, except for those times when I badly needed some upstream RPMs updated… but I’m over that now. Just about.
But over the years you changed and you are just not the distro I once knew. I tried to look the other way when you started running around with Xen. I knew it wouldn’t last. Talk to Xen much anymore? I didn’t think so.
How could you drag licensing into the picture? For all the talk of open source this and GPL2 that, it never made sense that you would let anyone run unlimited RHEL guests only when you are a Xen Dom0 — but not when I am the hypervisor. Isn’t a guest OS a guest OS? I guess not. You got selfish and frankly, people thought you were being a bully.
So you got tired of Xen and started looking around for satisfaction from another, huh? How’s that KVM working out for you? I hate to be the one to point this out, but your virtualization manager runs exclusively on Windows and is only accessible through Internet Explorer. Have you completely forgotten that you are a Linux distribution! I hate for you to hear this from me, but Ubuntu and SUSE have been making fun of you for months.
You and your KVM are going to be too Linux-y for the Windows guys, and too Windows-y for the open source crowd. I’m concerned about your reckless behavior. That makes Red Hat Enterprise Virtualization the worst of both worlds. You’re not thinking about hurting yourself, are you “RHEV”? I would not even be surprised to find out that you use Bing as your search engine now. Sorry, that was a low blow.
So you heard about the ESXi no-more-service-console thing, huh? Well, I moved on, lost some weight, and am ready for the next phase now.
If you ever need a hypervisor to run on, you know where to find me.
Best friends forever,
VMware “Elastic Sky” ESX
[Disclaimer for the humor impaired: Eric Gray does not speak for VMware, nor does he speak for any personified software products.]

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